Rapid-Fire Monkey

I want to refute everything.  So for a quick bit of fun before work, here’s some stuff harvested from Facebook, bumper stickers, and t-shirts.  Names withheld to protect the guilty.

[L]ive a good life. If there are gods and they are just, then they will not care how devout you have been, but will welcome you based on the virtues you have lived by. If there are gods, but unjust, then you should not want to worship them. If there are no gods, then you will be gone, but will have lived a noble life that will live on in the memories of your loved one[s].

How can you know what is a good life?  If humans are imperfect, then only the gods can truly know.  And if devoutness is part of a good life then if there are gods and they are just, they will care how devout you have been, precisely because that is a virtue you should live by.  If there are gods and they are not just, then what profit is there in virtue rather than vice?  If there are no gods, then why should the memories of your loved ones after your death have any influence over your choice of pleasures now.

Rather:  find out whether there are gods.  If there are, obey them.  If there are not, do whatever makes you feel good if you can get away with it.  Any other perspective is self-denial to no good end.

Dear Girls, dressing immodestly is like rolling around in manure.  Yes, you’ll get attention, but mostly from pigs.  Sincerely, Real Men.

Agree with the sentiment.  Problems, though:  1) Self-assurance, the ability to disregard societal norms when they conflict with one’s value system, and an inability to worship humans simply because they are female are all attributes of Real Men that society ascribes to pigs (because society does not like its norms violated over petty concerns of right and wrong any more than it likes them violated by true pig-hood).  Therefore, men who wish to be good and accordingly pay attention to societal norms often eschew these elements of true masculinity, thereby emasculating themselves, thereby leaving only ‘pigs’ attractive to women.  2) Women who dress in a fashion self-perceived as immodest are specifically looking for men with attributes society ascribes to pigs.

Therefore this message is irrelevant.  If you want women to become modest, a better message would be “Dear Guys:  Do what is right and damn the consequences.  Bow to no man or woman, but only God.”

Not because women are naturally righteous, and will correct their behavior if men only behave.  But because disregard for the dictates of lesser mortals is attractive in a man, and if the good guys have it as well as the bad guys, women will dress to attract the good guys as well as the bad guys.  Women are just as driven by their desires as men.

I’m a teacher.  What’s your super-power?

Not sucking at my job.

Harsh.  And not true of all teachers.  Just most.  And let’s not mention the fact that this rebuttal is roughly a gajillion times more likely to be literally true for teachers than for Catholic Priests…

All hail the Priests of the State Religion.


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